60 Days of Little Introspection, Day 15: Can You Be a Little and a Parent? Yes, you can!

Good Afternoon Friends! 

I hope you all are having a restful Saturday. As I type this blog post to you my sweet teenage daughter is gushing to me about the latest episode of, “The Great British Bake-Off”. I am watching her blue eyes light up as she raves about sesame seed, miso, and tahini ice cream cookies, and everything Paul Hollywood. Yes, I am an adult little, a writer, and a parent. In today’s post I want to explain how you can be both a little and a parent, and juggle both effectively. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in! 

  1. Schedules Are a Parent’s Best Friend: 

I “came out” as a Little when my daughter was 7 years old. At that time while she was snuggly, and high energy, she loved to curl up to movies and had a bedtime of 8 pm. I could easily sneak in little space when she had an afternoon nap and always after she went to bed at night. But now my beautiful girl is a teenager with thoughts and opinions that she talks about frequently. She doesn’t get tired before 10 pm and loves to hang out with me despite being 14 years old now. (I’m blessed and savoring every moment!). In other words, time is precious now that she is a teenager and that means that little space time can be slim if I am not on my A-game. To compensate for not having a lot of time I schedule my little space time. There are a few ways that I sneak in little space time throughout the busy week: 

  • Daddy and I go for a 30 minute drive in the late afternoon while she is doing homework. We stay close to the house but in the car we listen to our little playlist and I can slip into little space in the privacy of our car while our daughter is at home. 

  • We created a “couples time” rule in the house. Our daughter knows that at 8:30 pm she needs to head to her bedroom. She doesn’t have to go to sleep right away. But the living room becomes our couple space area to be Daddy/little from 8:30 onward. 

  • We take an evening walk together. Daddy and I love to take a 20 minute walk around the farm after supper. Hand in hand it’s our time to talk about whatever is on our mind, reconnect, and just enjoy some alone time. It’s also a great time for us to slip into our roles as Cg/l if the mood strikes us. 

  • Shower time is a two-person job. When our daughter was younger, showering was a one-person event. Why? Because if we both went into the shower our daughter was bound to get into something she wasn’t supposed to and we would come out to find crayon drawings on the wall, or glitter all over the floor. (Been there, done that!). So, we quickly learned to always have one of us present with her while the other one scampered off to shower. It worked effectively but killed our “romantic showering” time together. Now that she’s older we have reclaimed shower time as Daddy/little scrubby time! We love washing each other, playing with bath products, and getting each other all squeaky clean. 

2. There Are Benefits to Being a Parent and a Little: 

I had my daughter when I was 23 years old. Having her so young meant that I never really fit in with the other mothers. They were much older than I, and at the time I yearned to find my place in the world while still enjoying raising my daughter. Being a Little and a parent my daughter has often told me that it’s neat how I: 

  • Have raised her to love all things Disney 

  • Watch anime with her and love all things kawaii 

  • Will make the best grandparent since I have so much love to give and enjoy kids’ stuff so much 

  • Cherish the moments where I get to read her picture books 

  • Have raised her to be so open minded and accepting of all people 

  • Appreciates growing up in a LGBT+ proud household, as she is lesbian and I am non-binary

  • Appreciates growing up in a sex positive household, and has a healthy view on how safe sex should be when she one day chooses to do that with her future partner. 

  • Have raised her to believe that you’re never too old to believe in magic… to see the world as a beautiful, hopeful place…. To dance in the rain and catch snowflakes on your tongue. 

  • I love to tuck her into bed at night, even as a teenager. I have a deeper appreciation for it as an adult little. 

  • Have raised her to speak openly, gently, and respectfully about her feelings. In our household we strive to always be open and transparent with each other in our communication. 

Yes, I have found that unlike the Southern upbringing I had as a child, I have given my daughter everything I wish I had received from my folks. I love that she still has an imagination at 14 years old. I love that she still finds “gifts from nature”, or precious things she discovers on our nature walks. I love how she is so empathetic towards all creatures. She pauses for the crawling beetle passing by to feeding quail that come to our back porch nightly. I have raised her to enjoy her childhood from 0 to 18 without growing up too fast. There is a balance between equipping her for her future profession and making sure she is properly educated, (my baby wants to be a future doctor!), to keeping her innocence intact as long as I can. I have strived to do both and so far I think I’m succeeding. But I believe a large part of this is because I’m a Little. I’m young at heart even though I’m 37 years old now. 

3. Marrying Your Parent Side and Your Little Side: 

When you’re a parent and a little you learn when you put each “hat” on. Your child always comes first, period. And that’s the way it should be. But you don’t need to completely neglect yourself either. Take your child out on fun family adventures and join in with them. Go on a roller coaster. Jump on a horse on the carousel. Rent a kayak and go out on the water. Build a bear together complete with a special recorded message! Go to a fun themed restaurant (like a hibachi grill or a Hello Kitty Cafe). You can be in your parent role while still feeling little inside. Bottom line: weave the two beautiful parts of yourself together because you and your child will reap the benefits, I promise! 

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, comment and let me know. I’d love to hear from you! Subscribe below in the box and I will see you back here for the next topic! 

Much love, 

~Penny x

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