Good Morning Friends!
How is everyone doing today? A very Happy Saturday to you! Around here I have been having fun learning the ins and outs of Instagram! If you haven’t followed me yet, I am @lspaceleague on Instagram. Come give me a follow and see all the fun posts that I’ve been creating! Beyond that Daddy and I are putting the finishing touches on the next activity book to be published within the week, so stay tuned!! Now let’s turn our attention to today’s blog post topic: aftercare. To be honest there are a million articles on the internet about BDSM and aftercare. You can read up on what to do and not to do. You can find articles about what sub drop is (or x-drop, as there are multiple forms of drop based upon role and situation), and why it sucks so much. In today’s post I’m going to focus on how to give aftercare to your adult little. It is my hope that there are little nuggets of wisdom that you can take from this post, discard what you don’t need, and weave it into your life as you see fit. Now then, are you ready? Yes? Then, let’s dive in! 🙂
I. The Physical a.k.a. The New K.I.S.S. (Keep It Sanitary, Sweetie):
Little space can get messy. There, I said it. If you’re a non-sexual little it can get messy with sticky fingers, cookie crumbs, paint from art supplies, glitter everywhere, and saliva from happy mouths. Your little might have a bit of milk running down their chin whilst they suck on a bottle in your arms. They might have orange-colored fingertips from chomping on their favorite snack, or be covered in flour from baking in the kitchen with you. If you’re a sexual Little things can get equally as messy. The human body has fluids galore. From tears to saliva to sweat the body always has something going on. As a Caregiver you’re going to need to be ready to tackle the mess while keeping your little in the mindset. Say it with me: diaper wipes are my best friend! Diaper wipes are going to be crucial to have in your little space. They are cheap, plentiful, and come in a reusable box that you can keep with you in the car or home. When you’re out and about I also recommend keeping a small bottle of hand sanitizer. Your play session might be a 30 minute play date at the park, and that’s great, but in this age of coming out of a pandemic you’re going to want to have a hand sanitizer on you to keep your little one’s hands clean. As a natural germaphobe, the Captain is used to me being the proactive one to whip out the sanitizer in a flash when we go out. But it’s nice when he gently takes my hands and wipes them clean. Here are a few more ideas to use with your Little to give aftercare:
- If you have an adult baby, keep a changing bag full of supplies to have on hand. Consider having: diaper wipes, fresh diapers, a cloth for them to lay on, baby powder (non-talc), natural lotion or coconut oil for their legs, and a soft rattle for your baby to play with while you change them. You can provide this loving aftercare while keeping your adult little/baby in the headspace.
- If you and your little have engaged in impact play aftercare is especially important. On the physical level, immediately give your Little a glass of water to rehydrate. Then apply a soothing lotion to the reddened skin and massage out any aches and pains. Next, pull them close for skin to skin contact which will help re-center them emotionally.
- If you’ve engaged in intercourse you’ll want to have diaper wipes on hand to freshen up afterwards. Remember to wipe from front to back (always!) to prevent getting germs and bacteria from the anus into the vaginal cavity. Be gentle as you clean your little boy’s penis and testicles. Use several wipes to clean the entire genital region clean of fluids. (Or more bluntly, you don’t want sweat, cum, etc. mixing around in there on a single wipe. Instead, after each wipe from front to back discard into the trash and grab a new one).
- If you’ve engaged in any type of blood sport or knife play you’ll want to have a medical supplies kit on hand to apply first aid to your little immediately afterwards. Make sure each area if applied with disinfectant and bandaged properly to create a barrier to prevent infection. Give your little’s body plenty of time to heal afterwards.
There are a TON of products you can use as a Caregiver to keep your little one clean, happy, regressed, all while providing deep aftercare. Remember to think of your little as your most prized possession. You want to keep your treasure clean, feeling good, and deeply satisfied. Consider showering together or giving your little a bath with natural bath products. (Use bathing suits if your little is modest and shy). The point is to always keep your bodies clean, healthy, strong, and deeply connected to one another.
II. The Emotional: How to Provide Loving Aftercare Post-Play Session:
Once upon a time the Captain was into quickies. We tried it, and right before he walked out the door to go back to work from his lunch break… I cried. He felt terrible and we had to have a long discussion about why I couldn’t handle quickie sex. Some Littles are less emotional than others, so as always, these thoughts are merely my own and you should always tune into your Little to see what emotional needs they have. That said, I am the type of Little that needs emotional aftercare post-play session. This is especially true if the play session involves intimacy of any kind. Unlike other submissives, in our regressed state we assume the mentality of a younger child. Therefore we don’t want our dominant to go away, pull back, or for the moment to be done. It isn’t uncommon for a Little to feel clingy, needy, and yearn for lots of cuddles after a play session. We need the emotional reassurance to shift from that state of deep regression back to our natural baseline. You want to focus on these three goals when you’re helping your little (emotionally) after a play session:
- Shower them with love. Your Little needs to feel that you are connected, and will remain so even after the play session is over. Sadly we can’t be little all the time. Therefore it’s important that you let your Little know that you love them, enjoyed the special time together as Caregiver and little, and that you look forward to the next play session. This will help your Little’s mind to focus on moving forward with you instead of trying to stay in the moment.
- Give your Little praise. We love praise as Littles. Give them thanks if they draw you a pretty picture. Shower them with affection when they have obeyed everything you asked of them. Having that praise will continue to build up your sub’s self-esteem and make them feel important to you.
- Use a transition activity to help shift your sub mentally. Before you have the play session with your little, plan to have an activity for them to do afterwards. This can be something as simple as a chore, watch a movie, etc. But have the activity ready as a contrast to help your little shift out of the mindset when your aftercare has finished. Gently ease them into the activity with your help. For example: you might have your little fold the laundry after a play session. Once you’ve cuddled, decompressed, given love and praise, then you can tenderly assist your little by bringing the laundry over to them to begin folding. Start folding the clothing together as you watch them shift out of their little space. When they looked settled in their adult mindset and look emotionally centered you can let them finish the task on their own. Don’t forget to praise them for doing your post-play session task!
III. Transitioning Your Little Back to Their Baseline:
Recently I read a fascinating article about when age regression can be harmful. To summarize, age regression in itself is not harmful and can be quite helpful and soothing. However, it is important to mention that age regression can be harmful if:
- Your little uses little space to avoid doing adult responsibilities.
- Your little uses their regression to avoid emotional issues.
- Your little displays violent/problematic behavior (head banging, biting, temper tantrums, etc.)
- Your little refuses to come out of the head space and into their adult mindset.
These are “red flags” for Caregivers to be aware of, and to seek professional help should you see your little exhibiting any of the following behaviors above. Now, presumably your little isn’t displaying any of those behaviors and your relationship is going well, then it’s your job to help them transition back into their adult mindset after a play session. How you go about doing that is important. Never rush your little shifting from one mindset to another. It takes a little time for the brain to acclimate. Allow a 15-20 minute period of time for your little to shift, feel comfortable and stabilize in their adult mindset, before you go off to your next part of the day. Think of this mental transition for your little like a sandwich: praise them for a job well done (that’s the top piece of bread), begin telling them that now it’s time for them to do their next task of <insert an adult sub task here> so that way they can begin shifting their mind (that’s the middle of the sandwich), and wrap it up with praising them for shifting and doing their next task successfully before you head off and physically move on with your day (that’s the bottom piece of bread). Use this “sandwich strategy” to help prepare and move your little from one mindset to their normal baseline. The goal is to help your little feel loved, stable, secure, and protected at all times.
IV. How to Provide Aftercare as a Solo Little:
I want to wrap up this post by sharing a few ideas of how to provide yourself aftercare if you’re a solo little. Just as littles in relationships need aftercare post play session, I believe that solo littles need some T.L.C. after regression and that is where self-care comes into play. If you practice self-love and masturbation, make sure that you properly hydrate afterwards. Get your body to a comfortable temperature and allow yourself to rest for a few minutes. You might want to take a relaxing shower afterwards, and to use a bath product that you find enjoyable. If your little space is non-sexual, try listening to a relaxing song that you enjoy in your adult headspace. Turn on the TV and tune into a show that you’re looking forward to. Having that stimulation that you’re mentally eager for will help you to begin coming out of your regressed state of mind. Give yourself plenty of mental praise. You want your inner little to always feel loved, safe, and cherished by you. Regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, your relationship with your inner child is the MOST important relationship you will have. Be protective of your inner little. Give them acceptance of how you’re feeling, thinking, and being in every moment. You will want to establish a strong, nurturing relationship with your inner child. In doing so it will become easier to regress comfortably.
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!