Submission 101: How to Provide Service
Good Morning Friends!
A very Happy Thursday to you! Today is Thursday Trivia Day and today I present to you a fun, 2000’s Pop Culture Trivia FREE printable available for download in the weekly games section of our site. Today we are going to discuss service. In the little space community we don’t hear the word “service” used very much. This is a term commonly seen in the Master/slave dynamic, a Taken in Hand dynamic, and other D/s relationships where some form of service is provided. There is a misconception that because we are littles that we cannot provide service to our Dominants, but this is hardly the truth! (Little guys and girls can do “Big” things too! 😉 ). That said, today we are going to dissect: what is service, how can we provide it to our Dominant, how to give service on the tough days in life, and what our ultimate goal should be. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in!
✨I. What is “Service” and How You Can Provide It as a Submissive-Little:✨
When you think about the word “service” in terms of a Dom/sub relationship, what comes to your mind? Perhaps you’re thinking about a butler fantasy, or Cinderella providing domestic service. In our society we see all kinds of jobs that are service-oriented positions and we associate the word service with such actions. But in the world of BDSM service can mean a wide variety of tasks. In the simplest terms the word service means:
Service: Any task given by your Dominant to be completed that has the goal and intention of making their life easier or more fulfilled.
That’s it! Providing service means to follow the command given by your Dominant for their benefit (and your desire to serve). Whether that’s snuggles in front of a movie, or cooking supper for you both, whatever task you’re given that is the service that should be provided. Now, as a Little we often see (in our community) a lot of information about how the Dominant or Caregiver provides care to the little. But, when you’re in a Dom-little relationship, you will be providing service to your Dominant too! Yes, they will still pamper, swaddle, love on, and nurture you in your regressed mindset. However, there will be times where you are given a set of tasks to complete and your Dominant will expect you to rise to the challenge and complete these acts of service. As you perform service to your Dominant, here are a few rules to keep in mind:
- A task is not considered service if the Dominant didn’t ask for it. Aim to get feedback from your Dom on how they like things to be. Cater to their needs instead of “assuming” you know how they want something to be done.
- Let your service be an uplifting source of positivity that your Dom looks forward to.
- Don’t whine or gripe about a task your Dom has assigned. However, if you have a question as to why it was assigned, ask! Your Dominant should be ready to answer thoroughly why they assigned you the task in the first place.
- Tap into that place of selflessness to want to serve your Dominant and follow their command.
I’d like to pause here for a moment and circle back to the first rule because some of you might be thinking, “Yes, but I know my Daddy/Mommy! I know how they like things done. So, if I want to do something nice and special for them I should be able to!”. I completely understand this mentality and the answer is, yes, of course you can. But, just bear in mind that while it’s sweet and kind, it isn’t classified as service unless you’re doing exactly what your Dom requested.
To put it more clearly: you want to serve your Dominant. You chose to be their submissive. Therefore, part of understanding who they are is to understand how they want things to be done. Part of a Dom’s task is to give you clear, concise instructions so as to not cause confusion. If you deviate from their instructions and do something else, you are doing what you want and that pulls on the power dynamic. Instead, I encourage you to dig deep and honor their wishes. Think about how wonderful your Daddy or Mommy will feel when you obediently complete all of their tasks! (And you will feel pretty great too!). 🙂
Now that you understand what service is and is not, let’s focus on how to provide service as a submissive-little. Every couple is going to look different when it comes to their type of acts of service. There isn’t a “one size fits all” in terms of giving service, and that’s understandable. The key is to sit down together as a couple and find out what your Dominant needs in their life. Do they want you to learn how to cook meals for them and meal prep? Are you a long distance couple, and your Dom needs you to set up dates because he is busy and needs assistance? Does your Dom admire your sense of fashion, and wants your help picking out their outfits? There are a million ways that (as a little and a submissive) you can provide service to your Dominant. Again, get feedback and make sure that whatever you’re doing for them it is what they desire. Then you can be 100% sure that it will be well received.
✨II. Giving Service Even on the Hard Days:✨
After being with the Captain for 10 years (7 of which have been in the lifestyle), I can tell you that life definitely happens. S*** happens! It’s inevitable and it comes for all of us. Bad days are going to happen to you too. How you rise to get through those obstacles (both individually and as Dom/little) will make all the difference in the quality of your life. From my personal experiences I have found that the best thing you can do when you’re having a tough day is to lean into your love and turn towards your Dominant to help you through. Your Dominant should be able to help you through a bad day. Lean into your love for them to still do your tasks even if you don’t “feel like it”. Trust me, everyone gets a case of the grumpies. 😉 When this happens, dig deeper within yourself and push a little bit harder to still follow their guidance and do as they ask. Will it be easy? No, it won’t always be easy to follow their command when you’re feeling down and out. But it’s in these moments that I urge you to remember why you wanted to serve your Dom in the first place.
Every submissive-little has their own motivations for entering into a Dom-little relationship. Think about why you chose to enter into your relationship with your Dom. There are usually three primary motivations subs enter into a D/s relationship:
- They are looking to get something out of it from the Dominant. (Ex: “I’ll do this for you, and you do that for me”) type of mentality.
- They are in love with their Dominant and want to serve because they feel devoted to their role and their relationship.
- They are naturally service-oriented and have a need to feel useful to their Dominant.
You might be looking at these reasons and find that you fall into one or more of the categories. This is perfectly normal! The point is to take time to find clarity on your primary motivation for providing service. In doing so it will help you on the days when you’re struggling the most.
✨III. A Sub’s Ultimate Goal:✨
I want to wrap up this post by discussing what our ultimate goal is as submissives. We push ourselves to always provide the best service, to listen attentively, to give our D/s relationship our all, but where is the “bar” when we know that we have fully reached all expectations? The ultimate goal for any submissive is to be able to anticipate and meet your Dom’s wants and needs. When you can think two steps ahead of your Dominant to see a need they have, to sense a task coming, and to fulfill it in the way they desire (which makes their life easier), then you have achieved exceptional service. So, how can you do that as a Little? Littles are often touted as just being people in a corner using coloring books. And while some of us love to color, littles also make amazing companions! We are warm, snuggly, and deeply loving. We have the ability to uplift and help a Dominant feel desired and wanted. We have the capacity to be playful and small inside, while still doing a “Big” task on the outside. As such, if submissives were like a variety of ice cream, we would be the happy-rainbow flavor!🌈😀
I should note here that if you are a little who is tender-hearted, (I’m raising my hand here, too), your Dominant can give you praise for tasks completed while still helping guide you into completing service the way they desire. Over time this will help you to anticipate and meet their needs fully. As you dive into your role as their sub take time to learn the intricacies of their daily life. Study their schedule and find your “flow” together as you begin to do things to uplift your Dom. Really dive into their wants and needs and see if there are small ways that you can elevate each task. (For example: If they want you to cook dinner, make one of their favorite meals. If they want you to show “proof” of exercising, take a short video clip showing proof plus thanking them for guiding you). Do small acts that make a big impact on the love and trust you share together. A little bit can go a long ways!
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it! If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!