Cookies, Sunflowers, and Personal Growth [Penny’s Rambles]

Good Evening Friends,

I am sitting here curled up with a plate of cookies and a cup of warm tea. My face is lightly sun burned from working out on the farm. My muscles are jelly but it felt good to connect with the earth. It felt good to rip away the weeds from winter and trim up the grass to prepare for summer. Here in California our summer is a strange time of year. It’s dry, long, and we wait with baited breath for the first bits of cold to arrive in October. As I pulled weeds and loaded up the work wagon I heard the Captain quietly praise me from a few feet away. “You are such a good girl” he said lovingly. I paused, caked in dirt, sweat, and gave him a big grin. “Thanks Daddy” I said sheepishly. I love it when he praises me like that. Affirmation is one of my major love languages.

Recently our D/s relationship has been slowly evolving. Like everyone else in the world of D/s, time, experience, and reflection has made us examine and negotiate changes to our dynamic. He is my Daddy and I am his little. I know this will always be true. And yet, both of us have begun to crave more for our dynamic. As we’ve gotten older (we’ll both be 38 years old this year!), we have noticed that our time to be in Little Space has morphed a bit. Years ago we pushed hard to make time for play sessions. We made a corner in our bedroom for toys and playing on the floor. I wore onesies and he bottle fed me here and there. But as I’ve gotten older my tastes and preferences have changed. I…. have changed, and you know what? It’s okay to change!

I am a Little at heart, but most of the time I am in my adult headspace. I am a mom and a wife. I tend to the house along with writing activity books and little space books. When I entered the lifestyle nearly 7 years ago I went into somewhat of a “sub frenzy”. I devoured everything I could about the lifestyle and stumbled a lot along the way. These days my feet are far more stable and any growth and change is made with caution, deep contemplation, and a whole lot of conversation with the Captain. That said, I have recently begun to learn about the Master/slave dynamic.

I have wanted to learn about consensual slavery for a couple of years now, but the timing was never quite right. Now that our life is calm and things are smooth sailing around here, the Captain and I are ready to begin to learn. My bookshelves are stocking up with new books to devour. I will be reaching out to friends in the M/s lifestyle to poke their brain and learn even more. In many ways I am back to “square one” because M/s is so different from Dd/lg. I humbly accept that there is so much I need to learn, experience, and grow to understand. But, I am ready to explore and see if this works for us. The Captain is excited to explore his Master side within him too.

I wasn’t sure if I should write about our M/s experiences on a site that is clearly for Littles but then I paused and remembered that it’s okay to be many things in this lifestyle. You can be a Daddy and a Sadist. You can be a Baby girl and a Masochist. You can be a Little and a Pet. You can be all sorts of things! This is the beauty of BDSM and exploring your own sexual tastes and preferences. It’s a never ending journey and so I will be creating a category here to share with you all my adventures as I learn and grow. Am I still Penny Berry, the Cg/l author who loves all things Disney, glitter, music, and emoji’s? Uh, yeah!! But, now you get to see another side of me too! I hope you come along for the journey. 🙂

Much love,

~Penny x

5 comments

  1. mmm Cookies and tea and better a word of praise – sounds like a good day. Looking forward to seeing what else lies within Penny Berry. A blog i also follow is Slave Shae – She is a wonderful writer a devoted all around slave (www://slaveshae.wordpress) I think you will find her to be very interesting

  2. I have a group on FB that teaches about M/s dynamics that you are welcome to join (there’s a link on my blog). I wish you the best on this new journey, just remember you can still be a little while also being a slave…and if M/s turns out to not be the path you both want you can always be D/s or DD/lg or combo of them both.

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