Submission 102 Series

Submission 102: The Importance of Accepting ALL Littles

🐞Good Morning Friends!🐞

It feels so good to be back in this space. I feel like Rip Van Winkle who has woken up after 100 years of rest, when in reality it has only been a week. But over here it has been a week of total rest, recharging, reading, and…. watching a ton of Game of Thrones with my Daddy. 🤓 Hehe, I’m a proud nerd. Anyway, today I want to press on with this recharged energy to discuss the importance of accepting all littles in the community. If I’m being honest, there is so much division in this lifestyle. People love labels. Labels are a way to help the brain sort things into a way that makes sense. Labels are also a way for people to take pride in their identity, culture, etc. That said, today’s post is all about embracing the vast diversity within our Little Space Community and how to better support and accept ALL Littles. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in.

I. Yes, There Are Littles Who are Non-Sexual (and That’s Okay!):

I wrote more in depth about the difference between a Cg/l little space and an age regression little space, so if you’re curious about this topic please head on over there. I think it’s important to highlight non-sexual littles because it’s a topic that isn’t spoken enough about. For the sake of clarity in this post when I use the term “Little” I am referring to a person in the lifestyle that doesn’t mind being associated with the Cg/l community as a whole (regardless of relationship status) and not people who partake in age regression for inner child healing as that is something entirely different. That said, there are a number of reasons why a Little might not have a sexual little space:

  • When the little regresses they feel no urge or desire to be sexual. Their little space is sweet, innocent, and pure (like that of childhood).
  • The Little is asexual and does not have a sexual attraction towards a Dominant or Caregiver (or wish to have one).
  • The little has body dysmorphia issues and/or does not like certain parts of their body being touched sexually while in little space.

The list goes on and on. My point in bringing this to light is because I believe that the SFW side of the little space community receives far less attention than the NSFW side. And in a way I get it. Sex sells. Sex is thrilling. But we are one little space community with a vast array of parts, divisions, tribes, etc. that make up a beautiful sense of diversity. As such, it’s important to recognize that not every Little wants to be sexual. When you’re meeting a Little for the first time it’s critical to not assume that they are sexual in their little space. Ask if their little space is sexual or not and always respect their boundaries. It’s okay to not have a sexual little space. It’s okay to have a sexual little space. Let’s support one another as ONE community regardless of how your little space may be.

II. Being a Member of the BDSM Community Means Being an Ally (or Member!) of the LGBTQIA+ Community:

I’d like to tell you a true story that happened to me. A few years back I used to run a Discord server. I had a main server and then I ran a separate server for couples in the lifestyle. At the time I was working overtime (no surprise there 😆 ) and wanted to create a group for lifestyle couples (D/s) to meet, make friends, and socialize. Okay, fine. At the start of the server one day I met a Dominant and their wife. I had met a few, lovely couples when all of a sudden this couple joined and right away he began asking people if they were “gay or not” based on their server user name. Of course we jumped in right away to correct his behavior, but I remember being shocked at coming face to face with someone who was very openly anti-LGBTQIA+. You see, I live in California. I live in a very liberal, open-minded community and as a non-binary person I am thankful to live here. I forget that there are many people out there who are against people in the LGBT community for one reason or another. So, when I met this person and saw the vitriol spout from their mouth onto my computer screen it felt like being splashed with a bucket of ice water.

Note: Now I want to pause here because some of you might be thinking, “that’s b******t, Penny! You can have whatever mindset/beliefs and still be into BDSM”! Yes, you can. You can be against the LGBT+ community and be a kinkster.

However, BDSM is rooted and deeply intertwined with the LGBT community and so being against us and practicing aspects of this lifestyle seems… hypocritical to me. Again, this is just my opinion, but hear me out. The Leather Community can trace its roots back all the way to the 1940s in the post-WWII years when gay men came home and began to form biker groups, clubs, etc. to meet (usually in secret) to be with one another. They continued creating a vast, international community of leathermen that really started to boom between the 1970’s and 1980’s when a collection of protocols, rules, etc. evolved known as “The Old Guard” emerged.

Some of the most well-known members in various communities within the BDSM lifestyle have openly identified in one way or another with the LGBTQIA+ community or is a proud ally of us. Embracing the little community means understanding that there are adult littles out there with every identity and orientation. There are littles of every shape and size, and I’m so thankful for this diversity. That said, today I want to share with you the most updated acronym of the LGBT community because knowledge is power and this is knowledge you can use for good!

🏳️‍🌈LGBTQQIP2SAA stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit (2S), androgynous and asexual.🏳️‍🌈

If you have any questions on what any of these terms mean feel free to comment and ask, or you can read an explanation on each term here. But I’m so glad to see that there is an acronym now that embraces everyone, including our indigenous brothers and sisters. Likewise, it’s important that we embrace our fellow little brothers and sisters in whatever identity they prefer. You can be little, middle, adult baby, babyfur, lolita, a brat, and so on, and be a proud member of the little space community. I encourage everyone to lead with a heart of love. Embrace people different from you. Respect and support their differences. Singer Jackie DeShannon really got it right when she sang:

That person on my Discord server quickly left when they found out that I, and my Daddy, identify as non-binary. That was fine by us. But I want to give you this “food for thought”. You can be a part of the Cg/l or D/s lifestyle, or be a member of the little space community and be against the LGBTQIA+ community but why do it? Have your beliefs and be proud in that. But why not show the world that you can spread love, kindness, acceptance, and understanding, by also showing support for those different from you? Go ahead and spread more kindness in this world.

III. Not Every Little Wants a Power Exchange Relationship (and That’s Okay Too!):

I want to wrap up this post by highlighting and sending love to all of the littles out there who do not want a D/s relationship. I am happily married to my husband/Daddy of 10 years. We are a D/s relationship and so (likely) you will see content of that nature on this site. But I work diligently to provide an equal amount of content for littles not in a relationship or those who do not wish to be in a power exchange relationship, because it is important for every little to feel valid, heard, and supported. You can be an adult little and not be in a D/s relationship. You can be an adult little and NEVER be in a relationship with a dominant! Being a little is about who you are, and what you feel inside. You don’t need anyone else to validate the type of little you are. Your regression is your own journey, identity, and that is something beautiful to celebrate and cherish. I am here to remind everyone that just because you see the terms D/s, DDLG, MDLG/LB, Cg/l, etc. does not mean that you have to connect with a Dominant or Caregiver. Only engage in a relationship if it feels right for you. Our little space community has room for everyone, with or without a caregiver/dom. Be your own person and embrace who you are because that is enough. I promise. 💖

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Penny x