And Then Came the Service…
I could feel Daddy’s hands upon my shoulders as I stood at the lectern giving the eulogy this morning. It felt like two calming weights upon my shoulders. I am thankful that his spirit is alive and well. The service, as expected, was highly emotional for everyone. There were tears. There was laughter. There were somber moments. I even cracked a corny joke in Daddy’s honor:
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
An R2 Detour!
(Daddy and I love Star Wars). 🙂
Tomorrow I will take Daddy’s urn and scatter his ashes into the sea aboard a small ship. It’s the perfect physical ending for my Captain. My wild pirate at heart. As if he was nudging one of his co-workers, right in the middle of the service one of his co-workers go up to share a story about Daddy. “I remember when we were at our department potluck meal” he began, “we were all sharing more about our personal lives and Tali said that he wanted to move his family onto a sailboat and live at sea. At first I thought he was joking, and I couldn’t tell if he was serious, but then I got here to the funeral chapel and saw all the pictures of him out on the water and….”. He trailed off realizing that his co-worker really is a sailor at heart.
My sweet Captain. My best friend. My lover. My everything. Oh, how I miss touching every part of you. I miss your musical laughter. I miss snuggling on your chest. I miss the sound of your heartbeat. Just…. everything.
As I wiped my eyes (for the millionth) time at the end of the service today, a woman came up to me. She had worked on the Board of Education where Daddy had assisted in helping run the IT for their meetings. She pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear: “I lost my husband 26 years ago. He was my best friend. I never remarried. I promise you’re gonna make it”.
I needed to hear that. I really needed to hear that. Why? Because I know I will never marry again. I never even want to date again. My heart is sworn forevermore to my Alpha, my Captain, my Daddy, and my soulmate. But I also needed to hear that I’m going to make it. I’m going to be fine.
And you know what? I’m determined to do so.
Kiddo and I are set to move soon to the Pacific Northwest. It’s not greener pastures, but instead, marching on with Daddy speaking into my heart all along.
Until next time. x
2 thoughts on “And Then Came the Service…”
Thank you for the geeky joke. I really like it. Try to see the beauty in tomorrow. The finality of it all may hit you still. Don’t forget to use sun block tomorrow. I got my worst sun burns from boating trips. Hugs…
I admire your determination, Penny…sending lots of love your way! XOXO