Tag: DDLG Community
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Life on Mars
I learned a new word today. The word is: mung. Mung: green mossy shit that apparently grows on all moist outside walls in the Pacific Northwest. Let’s use it in a sentence that I heard today. “Honey, don’t forget to take off your shoes at the door because mung will get all over the carpet”. […]
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Tears and Evergreen Trees
It took 2 days to drive up here to Washington State. Two long days in the car. I’m not the best at road trips. With Daddy, being in the car was fun. We’d laugh, sing, and just soak up every moment together. But the entire 15 hour drive was me… anxiety-filled, praying to arrive safely, […]
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Like Porcelain Dolls…
Human beings are so fragile. We walk around with a façade of arrogance that nothing can touch us. We convince ourselves that we have “plenty of time”. But what is time? Tonight I went for a walk with my daughter down the driveway of the farm. Our next door neighbor is an elderly Korean couple […]
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Boxes, Bags, and Goodbyes…
In 3 days we are set to leave California for the Pacific Northwest. I try to paint on a “tough smile” for my daughter telling her interesting facts about Washington State. “There are massive trees with actual GREEN leaves, baby!” “Did you know that we are finally going to live in a place that has […]
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Back Home at Sea
My daughter and I sat in the front of the boat. The weather was perfect today on the water. Not too hot, and a steady breeze blowing across the Pacific. The Captain was a gentle, older man in his 60s with sun-kissed skin from many, many years spent outside. We rented his vessel to do […]
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Everyone Grieves Differently…
For the past 11 days since Daddy’s physical form passed away my life has been put in a blender, spun into puree, and spit back out again. The impact of The Captain’s passing has hit many, many people hard. Everyone deals with grief differently. Personally I don’t like to cry in front of people. Tons […]
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Day 9: When Things Begin to Sink In…
Every morning I wake up and feel for you. The moment I can’t my heart breaks all over again. It’s real. This living nightmare is real. Your physical form is gone. I squeezed my eyes shut and called out for you aloud. “Nani!”. In the depths of my mind your voice came instantly. “I’m here, […]
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Day 8: The Mornings are the Hardest
Dear Daddy, The mornings are the most difficult. I still stir around 5:30 am and wake up. I reach over and feel our daughter sleeping next to me in the bed. Gosh I miss your snores. I miss the warmth of your body. I miss the way you would feel me reach for you and […]
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Day 7: Finding Little Space When Everything is Broken…
Daddy will always be my Daddy. Of that, I’m sure. I’m also sure that I will never marry again. Once you’ve married your best friend, soulmate, lover, Daddy, etc. nothing else could ever compare. I’m comfortable with this decision too. I miss our Little Space terribly. Daddy could always shrink me at a moment’s notice. […]
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Day 6: The Night Before Daddy Passed Away…
Today is Friday September 16th, 2022. It has been one week since Daddy’s physical form passed away. Not long after his passing I heard him speak to us reminding us that although his physical form is gone, Daddy is still here. Daddy is not dead! I have to keep reminding myself of this. I want […]